they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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