I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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