ADVERTISEMENT

• (516): View more from New York

  How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"

  Fav 16 1040 5195

  share tweet
  

• (661): View more from California

  a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet

  Fav 36 4178 1374

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (803): View more from South Carolina

  just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car

  Fav 191 16628 2789

  share tweet
  

• (530): View more from California

  I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.

  Fav 16 2651 1240

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.

  Fav 7 1480 2026

  share tweet
  

• (714): View more from California

  He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

  Fav 11 867 1642

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (302): View more from Delaware

  Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad

  Fav 6 2173 695

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.

  Fav 4 1456 623

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off

  Fav 2 1030 502

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.

  Fav 4 978 634

  share tweet
  

• (561): View more from Florida

  My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"

  Fav 1 796 615

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (425): View more from Washington

  How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?

  Fav 14 1251 558

  share tweet
  

• (212): View more from New York

  I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.

  Fav 6 731 498

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it

  Fav 3 530 328

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?

  Fav 2 28 23

  share tweet
  

Randomize