i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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