Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban