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• (518): View more from New York

  Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (760): View more from California

  Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever

  Fav 11 2655 1999

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (515): View more from Iowa

  You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  you take my contact solution?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger

  (406): View more from Montana

  For Who flesh?

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome

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• (361): View more from Texas

  He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.

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