I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house