ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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