what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
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She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
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I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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