I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
