she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
