1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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