I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
