I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
