rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Vodka?
Forever.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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