I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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