He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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