My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
