you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize