This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
