I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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