I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize