if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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