How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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