I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
