i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
