After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
