We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
