Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize