If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
