I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
