Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
