idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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