Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
