oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
