if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
