im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
