There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize