My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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