what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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