i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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