dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
