he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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