my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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