can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
