I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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