I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
