She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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