Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
