There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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