Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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