I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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