I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
