if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
