dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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