dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
