he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
