It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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