How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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