i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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