i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So many bounce houses so little time
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
