someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
