i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
