lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
