someone threw a dead crab at me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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