Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing