So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
