I CAN MOONWALK!
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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