I only kidnapped one of them. chill
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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