I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
