So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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