Soap is not a condiment
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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